I have tits!
by Cristy1994
Summary: Draco wakes up one day and discovers that he is Hermione Granger. Yes, Hermione Granger... With her bundle of unruly curls and her sensual and secret ass.


**Author's Note:** Hi! I would like to start introducing myself as this is my first english story. My name is Cristina. I'm 25 and I'm from Spain. I have been writing a bunch of dramione stories in spanish for a while and I just thought I could expand them to the english community as well. I always read my own chapters at least three times to make sure that they are perfect, but as I'm not as english as I would like to, I looked for some help with the corrections. That's why I want to thank **Sallie** for reading and pointing my mistakes. She didn't cut the corners uh! Thank you for your time. You can find her and her stories as "LadyIvy89" in Ao3!

I don't have much more to say so... I hope you enjoy this One Shot!

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**I Have Tits!**

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Draco sat up on the bed. He had woken up with a start and remembered just enough to say that he had had a nightmare. The small drops of sweat on his forehead were proof of that, but he was so tired that all he wanted was to put his head back on the pillow and go back to sleep. He yawned for a few seconds and then dropped back on the bed... But, although his mind was still drowsy, the little common sense that remained in his head made him realize that something was not right. Why did he feel something tangled and hairy around his neck? Had Pansy's stupid cat sneaked into his room again?

Draco sat up in the darkness, ready to give that annoying cat her due... but the hair moved with him. Confused, he reached for his head. His expression became horrified when, instead of touching his soft, fine and short hair, his fingers tangled in a bundle of unruly curls.

"What the fuck...?" He murmured, then flinched when he heard the strange new high-pitched tone of his voice. "What the fuck...?" He repeated.

Why did he seem to be listening to Granger? What the hell was going on?

Draco tried to calm down. He was sure that this was nothing more than the product of his wonderful imagination. Surely it had to be another nightmare. Or the same as before. He neither knew nor cared. He huffed under his breath and lay back on the bed, this time on his side... but something seemed to weigh a little on his chest. He sat up quickly and, frowning, put both hands on those small, round breasts that had suddenly appeared there. He fumbled for a moment, trying to find a logical explanation for that situation. But his prodigious mind could not find an answer to what was happening, so he hurriedly put his hands under his pyjama shirt and made sure that what he was touching was indeed part of his body.

"I have tits!" He exclaimed in horror with Hermione's thin voice.

A few faint murmurs soon appeared in the room, and Draco knew right away that they were not the ones of his housemates. Someone said "Lumos" and a flash of light dimly illuminated the room.

Lavender Brown sat up in her bed with her eyes half closed because of the momentary blindness that the sudden brightness of her wand had caused. Draco was left with his mouth open when he realized with horror that this was not his room, or his bed, or the colors of the sheets of his house.

When the girl managed to reopen her eyes and focus on him, she looked incredulous. "Well, Hermione..." She began to say in a pasty voice. "We all know that they are not the most gifted or the prettiest in the castle... But yes, you have tits. Or so I think... Hey, who cares about that now?"

Brown was about to say "Nox" when Draco jumped out of bed and stood up.

"Wait! Did you just say Hermione?" He snapped. "What's going on here?"

"What's wrong, Hermione?" Asked one of the Patil sisters, rubbing her eyes with her hands.

But Draco could not say a single word. He looked with bewilderment at his hands, now much smaller than before. He watched his long brown hair fall down his shoulders. He looked at his body (or rather what appeared to be Granger's body) in a horrible flannel pyjama that he would have never worn, even if they tripled his family fortune. When at last he could look away from himself and raise his head, all of Granger's roommates were on their respective beds looking at him strangely.

For the first time in his life, Draco felt terribly self-conscious. But despite the embarrassment he felt at that moment, he forced himself to put on his shoes and get out of there as fast as his new legs allowed him.

When he closed the door of the room behind him he pinched one of his cheeks with all his strength. If that had been a dream, he had definitely had enough... but all he got was a throbbing pain in the right side of his face.

He breathed deeply a couple of times before he went crazy. He didn't know what was happening, but he was planning to find it out as soon as possible.

He went down a small flight of stairs and thought he was in the Gryffindor common room. He missed his wand so he couldn't illuminate the room, because although the first rays of sunlight were already coming through the windows, it was still dark enough for Draco to stumble a couple of times with a stupid chair and a wall that suddenly appeared in front of him. It took a long time to find the exit by groping the walls. When he finally found the hallway, he had to stop a few minutes to try to find his way.

After doing so, it did not take him long to reach his destination.

When Severus Snape opened his bedroom door he looked more disheveled and grim than usual, so much so that Draco stepped back involuntarily.

The professor lowered his eyes to him while keeping his head high. Draco understood then all those times he had heard people say that Snape was imposing. Having to look at him from this height… he could see it now. "To what do I owe the pleasure of receiving you at seven in the morning on a Saturday, Miss Granger?" He asked, dragging the words as usual.

"I'm Draco." He said urgently. "I woke up in Granger's body."

The professor raised an eyebrow while his upper lip turned with distaste. "How dare you try to tease me in that brazen way, miss?"

"No, professor, that's not it." Draco said in the Gryffindor's voice. "I'm Draco Malfoy trapped in Granger's body."

"I'm going to have so much fun reporting this event tomorrow." The man snapped, threatening to close the door.

"You are the Dark Lord's infiltrator in the castle." Draco said quickly.

The door remained an inch from the doorframe. A couple of seconds later Snape opened it again very slowly. "What did you say?" He wanted to know.

"That you are the one who passes information of what happens in the castle to..."

"Shhh." The professor interrupted him, grabbing his arm and pulling him inside.

Draco tried to hold Snape's gaze when he bent down to his new height. He seemed quite focused on analyzing every part of his face. The scrutiny lasted a minute, after which he went back straight to asking: "How did you come up with those silly speculations, miss...?"

"I'm telling you, I'm Draco." He repeated. "We meet at my house once a month. You are in charge of disapparating and apparating [SR1] me in and out of the castle. We hold meetings in the library. You sit between my aunt Bella and Mulciber. My father is always in front of you."

Snape narrowed his eyes, cautious. "Very well, Miss Granger. On the chance that everything that you are telling me is true... Who could He Who Must Not Be Named have entrusted the supervision of his recent prisoner?"

"Avery."

"Threatening him with..."

"With using the Cruciatus curse on him until his last breath if he did not comply with the order." He said, trying to recite the same words that the Dark Lord had used weeks before.

Snape frowned and Draco hoped that all that information was enough for him to believe it all at once. "How did this happen?" He asked at last.

"I don't know." Draco replied, relieved to have gained his trust. "I was having a nightmare and when I woke up I was in the room of the Gryffindor girls, in Granger's bed... and with Granger's body." He said, making a face.

"We're going to see Dumbledore." The man said, picking up his coat from a hanger by the door and making it ripple as he left.

* * *

The old headmaster was looking calmly at Draco over his half-moon glasses. The fact that he did not seem to be surprised made him sick. Draco needed him to say something at once or he would be seriously prompted to throw [SR2] a chair at his head.

"Miss Granger was just here a few minutes ago. She had your appearance, Mr. Malfoy." He said. "Of course, at first I was skeptical. I asked her if she had taken Polyjuice Potion and I told her that sometimes the effects last longer than expected. In very few occasions, the intervention of a specialist is needed to restore the appearance of a person, but there have been cases in which the subject has been trapped in a different body than their own." Dumbledore clasped his hands on the desk. "She promised me that she had not tried to change her appearance and that she didn't know what had happened. I was deeply concerned with the subject and I assured her that I would investigate it." Draco looked at the headmaster with his jaw open and his eyes wide. "For now, I'm afraid I can't tell you exactly what is happening to you both. I have never heard of anything like it before."

"You don't know…?" Draco tried to say, but all he managed to do was babble a few words.

"I'm afraid I don't. One person does not suddenly exchange his body with another. It has to have an explanation, but for the moment I don't know it."

And with those words Draco felt his soul sink into the ground.

He walked the corridors again without an apparent direction. The day had already arrived, but he felt like mourning. He wanted to recover his appearance at all costs. He liked himself too much to be someone else, and if that other person was Granger he had even more reason to want to change back.

He was dragging the ridiculous pink slippers across the floor when he heard his voice behind him.

"Malfoy!"

His voice sounded pretty angry. Draco turned quickly and saw himself dressed in his robe, walking towards him with great strides. When he finally reached his position he had to look up to see himself.

"What have you done to me?" His voice said.

"Excuse me?" He snapped, frowning. "Are you accusing me of causing this?"

His own gray eyes stared at him angrily. He did not know why he felt a chill run down that spine that wasn't his. "It certainly wasn't me." She said, crossing her arms.

"I didn't have any interest in being you either, Granger."

She looked him up and down. "At least you could have dressed." She said with resignation. Draco saw on his face that she had regretted her words the very the moment she said them.

"I see you did get dressed." He commented, suddenly amused. "How was the experience of seeing me naked? I hope you enjoyed it, because you will not have another chance like that."

Draco watched with pleasure as she blushed, turning her pale cheekbones a reddish hue. He was also aware of the occasional curious look from the students passing by. "You're a fucking brat, Malfoy." She snapped.

"But I hit the nail on the head." He was not sure if he was capable of the same smile he always used in this kind of situation with Granger's face, but at least he tried. "Take advantage of it while you can."

Draco had intended to leave, but frozen fingers clung to his small arm and pulled him back too easily.

"Where are you going with my body?" She asked irritably.

"Believe me when I say that I would love to stay now that I can observe my body from the outside, but the truth is that I lose interest when I remember that _you_ are the one inside of it." He commented nonchalantly. "It's nothing personal but... Oh, wait. Yes, it is. I hate to be talking to me and see how you ruin so many of my charms."

He jerked to try to get out of her grip, but he was unable to. He didn't know if he should rejoice at his physical strength or be bothered because now it was she who had the power to hold him there as long as she wanted. He looked at himself with hatred as she brought her face to his ear.

"Don't even think about looking at me." She whispered. The words seemed poisoned, the tone was clearly threatening.

"Not that I had any interest." He replied, wrinkling his nose.

She released him and he gave her one last cold glance before leaving. Who could think he might be attracted to the idea of seeing her naked? Him! Draco Malfoy!

If the situation itself already angered him, that brief encounter made his mood worse. Of course, his father would hear about this! He would write him that very same day.

He smirked. Perhaps that would at least serve to demonstrate the ineptitude of the old headmaster. And if it was the reason for his dismissal, he was sure that the Dark Lord would have an easier time taking the castle. He would probably also reward his family.

He shook his head, now more animated, causing a lock of wavy hair to fall down over his face. He brushed it away and continued walking. The corridors were less and less crowded. He supposed that people would be in the Great Hall, having breakfast. But his hunger was gone after that encounter.

What he actually had was need to piss.

Dilemma. What bathroom should he enter? Ladies or gentlemen? Shrugging his shoulders, he followed his instinct and pushed the door of the male toilets. It wasn't going to take too long, so he walked to the nearest one and closed the door behind him, turning to the toilet and pulling down the horrible pyjama pants. He also hastened to slide the underwear around the curve of his hips and let it fall to the floor.

Suddenly, he felt stupid. How was he going to piss on his feet? He turned around and sat on the toilet. That way of going to the bathroom was actually very different.

When he finished he picked up a piece of toilet paper that hung on the wall and, realizing what he had to do, he froze. Why the hell was that happening to him!? For Salazar and Merlin's sakes! What kind of divine punishment was it?

With his eyes on the ceiling, he moved the paper over Granger's privates and cleaned them. Then he hurriedly got dressed again and got out of there, running into an unfortunate person who had just entered the restrooms. Embarrassed, he looked up at the person. The weasel looked at him with bewilderment.

"Hermione?" He murmured.

"Get out of my way, Weasel." He snapped, nudging his ribs and exiting the door.

Draco needed to get out of that body urgently, now more than ever. He went down the several flights of stairs that separated him from the dungeons and reached the secret entrance to his common room. He spoke the password aloud and went inside.

A pair of third-year Slytherin girls stared at him in confusion from the green tapestry sofa as he moved through the room. Draco looked at them over his shoulder. At least he had expected a minimum confrontation on their part. Salazar would be very disappointed if he had seen how his students allowed other people from outside his house enter their domain.

He snorted and reached the boy's room, He entered and closed the door with a bang.

He intended to kneel at the foot of his bed and look in his trunk for a pen and parchment to write to his father... but his eyes met a large mirror standing at the back of the room, and couldn't do anything but freeze on the ground out of fright. Did he really walk around the castle looking like that!? It was not that he cared too much about the Gryffindor's reputation, but that hair even embarrassed _him_.

He moved a little closer, holding his hands to the frizzy mess and wondering how she managed to keep that pile of hair at bay each day. Then he turned and look at his ass. Since when did Granger have that there? It seemed firm and stylized, why did she try to hide it from the outside world? Draco pulled the pyjama down and let the pants drop. He turned his back to the mirror and looked at the reflection over his shoulder. Yes, that was definitely hers. And while her tits were small and manageable, her ass seemed the opposite.

"Well, Granger." He whispered, surprised. "You had it well hidden."

A last image of the Gryffindor's ass was etched into his retina when Draco opened his eyes again, this time in his bed. It seemed that it was daylight. He sat up quickly, holding his hands to his head. His silky, fine hair had returned. And his pyjamas were again the delicate and expensive fabric of the best store in Hogsmeade.

"Blaise!" He exclaimed, startling his friend on the bed. Blaise opened his eyes and looked at him, half asleep. "What do I look like?"

Frowning, Blaise tilted his head to look at him. "Is it a trick question?" He murmured.

"No, I'm serious. Tell me, do I look as Malfoy as always?"

Blaise seemed totally perplexed. "Your Malfoy is overflowing today." He said.

Draco jumped up and dressed in a flash. That morning could not have started better. And not just because it was Saturday and there were no classes. No, no doubt that day was already wonderful for the simple fact of being him again.

He went down to the common room and happily greeted a couple of housemates, who stared at him a little distrustfully. But those imbeciles would not ruin that beautiful day. No, they would not... because there was nothing better than being Draco Malfoy one more day.

He went out into the hallway and started up the stairs to the main floor, where several students from different houses were already heading to the Great Hall. He joined them and walked nonchalantly between them. He was internally telling himself how good it was to be back in his skin when he spotted Granger and her friends walking in the opposite direction. He focused his eyes on them. Potter and Weasley seemed to have forgotten that she was also there, as they chatted animatedly about something while her friend held some books against her chest and looked straight ahead, bored.

Draco smiled, and as he passed by her, grabbed her arm to stop her. Without giving her time to do or say anything, he whispered into her ear,

"That's one pretty mole on your thigh, Granger."

Then he released her and continued on his way, leaving her partially flushed and petrified on the ground behind him.

Yes, he definitely loved being Draco Malfoy.

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**AN: **I would be delighted to read your thoughts about this short story. I will be uploading more soon! Stay tuned! :D


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